He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
