white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
