How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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