I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
