i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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