fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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