In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
