my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I had to cum in my sink.
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