look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
