Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You know, be my cock's hype man.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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