is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
