We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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