He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
