So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
