So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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