"it" just moved
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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