I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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