i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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