Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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