make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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