I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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