I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
