Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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