At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
