All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Your tits are I can't wait for
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
