i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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