so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
