I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
