I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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