its not stalking. its research.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
