I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
