the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
even my farts smell like vagina
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
