i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
