What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
