I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
