He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
