She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
