We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
