i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
