I'd wear matching sweaters with you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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