i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
