I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
