Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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