She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
