Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize