do herpes really smell.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
