he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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