If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
