i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize