I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
