Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
