Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
