i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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