I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
